if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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