protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
