I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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