I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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