So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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