I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
