That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize