I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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