If that was your dad, he is hot
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
