Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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