Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
