talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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