the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
