she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
