You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
