The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
