Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
