I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Screwed.edu
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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