ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
birth control should be required to get into college
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize