Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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