In the future we'll all be gay
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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