i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
