I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Pooping to opera.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
