I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Randomize
