Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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