It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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