He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
