You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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