i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
