What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
