just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
