with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
