have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
