Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize