I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
