my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So much Jack, so little girl.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
