wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
