I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
