I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Your cock deserves a montage
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
