Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
