tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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