Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
