I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
