I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
