Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
ttyl tear gas
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
