Got a toothbrush?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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