i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
