she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
