I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
