The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
