dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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