dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
