i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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