I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
