what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
