why didn't you poke me back
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
