I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
