her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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