he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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