he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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