No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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