i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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