I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Oh god it's open bar.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
