we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
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