Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
