How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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