that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
