Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm drive I can fine osifer
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
