I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
