I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
