So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
