He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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