Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She's the barista slut.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
