Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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