he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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